I know I should, but I don't, go confess. I need to sit with a priest and hash out a plan to take holy communion despite my circumstances. Otherwise, I don't even attend mass. I know, intellectually, that there is a point to attending even without communion, but I just can't get myself to do it. The humiliation of staying in my seat while people shuffle past me to take the Eucharist. That awkward moment is dread.
Gabriel, Holy Mass is where heaven and earth come together, in the presence of Christ with all the angels and saints. God wants you there.
Not receiving the Eucharist should NOT be humiliating. I don't when not in a state of grace and look on others who don't with deepest respect. Those who simply go and take regardless -- not so much.
You're not alone. I haven't taken Communion for a while for reasons. Yet I attend. It's good for me, instills the habit of prayer .. and after three years and change of being Catholic it doesn't feel right if I don't go.
I've had two awkward moments: both times young men I know have helpfully tapped me on the shoulder to remind me everyone else in the pew is up and on their way.
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