I know I should, but I don't, go confess. I need to sit with a priest and hash out a plan to take holy communion despite my circumstances. Otherwise, I don't even attend mass. I know, intellectually, that there is a point to attending even without communion, but I just can't get myself to do it. The humiliation of staying in my seat while people shuffle past me to take the Eucharist. That awkward moment is dread.